最近，有个女性朋友和我聊天诉苦。她说她和他常常通电话。她男朋友非常非常地关心她。每每她要和朋友聚会或任何的邀约她都必须知会他，是为了让他知道他的行踪，说什么关心她的。有什么计划改变或什么的也必须通知。晚了，他就会开始“有礼貌地询问”为何还不回家。甚至有时会大发雷霆或耍脾气地问她为什么就不会好好照顾自己或什么的。她说，她为他改变了，她失去了自我，她累了。原来，太多的爱，真的会是种伤害。

这个故事，让我回忆起我自己的过去，多年前我也是如此“加害”于人。受到过分的照顾，让受到照顾的一方都完全失去了自我、自信及独立自主的能力。受到过分照顾的一方会变成依赖，过分照顾的一方会变成依赖被依赖的感觉，从而造成了一种恶性的依赖循环。爱，还是要半满的好，不对被照顾的一方造成压力，照顾的一方也可以留多点爱给自己。如梦初醒，太多的爱，原来是种伤害。

我从小就被教导要学习等待、要有耐心、不要心急。无奈似乎长辈越是教我的，我越是做不到。等待，绝大多数都是一个非常、非常漫长的过程。我实在是个不擅长等待的人。现在才发现，往往很多东西就是因为不能有一时的等待，而破坏了一生的保鲜期。

尽管如此，我还是屡次的犯错而不知觉。这次，我希望我不会再重犯。我希望我可以真正的不后悔，不要再心急，不要再冲动。以前别人告诉我说timing很重要，我常常告诉他们timing就是NOW。那是4年前的事了，我的"timing就是NOW"把我自己给害惨了。明白了，timing就是所谓的顺其自然，就是在适当的时候大家都会知道的。虽然明白了，可是做起来还是非常的吃力。是成长的代价吗？

These are all the things that I need at the moment. I’m in the midst of a big change in my life currently, and I need to make a good balance between my career and my life, which I find that it’s getting more and more challenging by the day. With all the distractions around at the moment, I can’t possibly do it. I need to get away.

Torn between what I want and what I need, I’m lost, confused, distracted, frustrated, disappointed, entangled. But I’m trying to stand up everyday, to be a better man everyday, to regain my confidence. I made myself a promise that I’d be a rejuvenated person 6 months later. Luckily on the way, I met quite a few friends which is really worth my while to come all the way. Really quite helped me a lot along the way to pull myself together.

Now there’s a chance laid in front of me. I need to stay away from the sources of confusion, distraction, frustration, entanglement and disappointment for almost one and a half week. Maybe I will be able to seek what I’m looking for this time: solidarity, solitude, serenity and clarity. My fingers are crossed. Wish me luck.

可以前进，为什么要退后呢？以前年轻时（现在也不老啦），总觉得这样，时常都不明白，为什么男女主角都爱对方，为什么要分开呢？那时候，实在不很明白，唯有独自纳闷。

10年后的今天，经历了第一段感情，虽然不是什么惊天地泣鬼神的，却的确令我心智成长不少。人变得历练了，比较沉稳了，也收敛了深沉了许多。

有时候，的确是需要退后的。退后，看清自己的位置、对方的位置、各自的立场、对身边的人的影响、一些也许不应该计较的得失、等等。待看清了一切之后（很多时候都不一定可以看清一切，但至少可以看得比较清楚），往往会发现，也许，放手、退后会让双方都比较好过。也许若干年后，大家都会感到无奈，但至少放手、退后都让双方的回忆停留在最爱的时候，不会变成一些大家都不会想要或后悔的往事。

or

???

And so it was lunch time. So we (me and my colleagues) went to the mixed rice stall next/behind the Istana Hotel for a bite. As we were talking about Friendsters, I was just getting the hang of it with Friendster after long time never upkeep my account, then my colleague Ivin, suddenly came up with this exhillarating question "YOU KNOW YOU COULD SEND TIRAMISU TO YOUR OTHER FRIENDSTER FRIENDS?"

I was like "Huh??!! Tiramisu?? What tiramisu?" Then she actually turned towards the colleague on her right, Eve, and asked, "You know tiramisu rite? In Friendster? Those that you can send to your friends in Friendster and then your friends can select to accept or not one ar." and Eve actually without thinking nodded her head. Then I was like "Huh?? Really got TIRAMISU in Friendster? Hidden feature ar? Must be new feature I don’t know since I’ve not used Friendster for a long time." Then Eve popped up with a question asking Ivin "Testimonial is it?" Now at this point of the conversation, the whole table was a total silence, then came the burst of long and lasting laughters and tears and moans of stomache pain… Wow this Ivin and Eve really "bagai pinang dibelah dua"…