Yes, it definitely IS complicated. Relationship, love, patience, emotions, decisions, commitments, promises, etc etc. Or am I just making it up as an excuse for myself to screw up my life? The title says it all, IT’S COMPLICATED™!

Big boys don’t cry, in contrast to Fergie’s title "Big Girls Don’t Cry". I’ve managed to gather all my sense and clarity left to figure out that I need more time to figure the whole complicated thing. Now besides the work I do day in day out, I’ve started to confine myself to solidarity, serenity and peace. Taking baby steps, one at a time. Maybe I was just taking things too fast during the past few roller-coaster years of life.

People say getting cold feet when a relationship comes to a point where marriage is all that’s left is normal. I’m really not too sure of that myself. I never was able to convince myself in this theory. But the void left in my life, has made me ask myself "Am I really that suitable for commitments, promises which will be expected to last for a lifetime?". I just feel like running away from everything I have now, but I would just be too afraid of the risk that I’d loose everything when I come back. I’m torn.

Yes this might be too complicated to be understood, but if you do understand, you will have already experienced how complicated it can be. Thanks for understanding!