It’s been a while.

Been weeks I’ve never gone out during weekends. Not that I don’t have a date or what, I just don’t feel like it. Don’t know why. Internet’s been down both at office and home for quite a few days too. Maybe it’s this "free slot" that made me gave things a real thought.

This weekend, i just "munched" in "Definitely, Maybe" and "Made of Honor". Everytime I watch such love/comedy movies, I just get a different thought/realization. The last ones I watched was like "P.S. I Love You" and "Fool’s Gold". Although each of these, features a different kind of love (well obviously I’m not going to repeat the synopsis of these movies), it really brings out one similar thought that I realized. In fact, this might even transform from a thought into a phobia/fear/nightmare.

I’m not trying to sound like it’s very serious, it might sound stupid too, but I’m just starting to think.

I’m starting to feel afraid… I might not meet that right "someone", or… I might have missed that right "someone" who came by, or… I might be letting that right "someone" pass me by right at this moment.

I know this sounds lame. I know. But I just can’t help it.
Call it girly, stupid, paranoia or whatever you call that. I’ll just admit it.

Problem is, I don’t know what to do. And I don’t know how to know what to do. I wonder if god (whichever religion’s god) will give me signs of what I should do. As I do realize, I wouldn’t really wanna take the jump just because of desperation, right?

I rest my whining here.